Since it's Valentine's Day I wanted to talk about love, specifically self-love. The impact that self-love (or should I say, the lack thereof) has on emotional health and wellness.
Most of us as human beings look for love in all the wrong places. That's just how we are wired. It's human nature. I don't know, maybe God designed it that way so that we wouldn't become too overly self-absorbed, who knows? But, we're constantly looking outside of ourselves for love and happiness. And then when we can't find what we are looking for outside of ourselves, we get frustrated and angry. Then, and only then, do we look inside of ourselves to find the missing pieces and try to find answers. Looking inside is the key, this is the right place to start. But, as we look inside ourselves what we first begin to do is, we internalize our struggles regarding our inability to find the love that we want with people, and somehow translate it into something conclusive to who we are as a person. Why do we do that? Why do we go outside of ourselves to find love, validation, our worth, our value, and after our inability to find what we are looking for we internalize it and sum it all up as "I am not worthy", "I am unloveable"?
Who we are as a person, our worth, our value, has nothing to do with other people. Our worth and value does not come from others. No human being on the face of the earth has the power to determine our worth and value. Only God can do that. And he determined your worth and value when he formed you in your mother's womb (Jeremiah 1:5). But to go back even further than that, God determined your worth and your value even before you were formed in your mother's womb. God determined your worth and value when He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for your sins, so that you could be free from sin, free from bondage, free from sickness (physical sickness, emotional sickness, mental sickness), and live an abundant life through Him. A life free from guilt, free from worry, free from anxiety, free from anguish and turmoil, free of negative thinking. This was the ultimate act of true Love. The Sacrificial Love of a merciful and compassionate God to save a dying world (John 3:16).
Why do we look for love from others instead of from the One who is Love? It is through Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). It is through Him that we begin to learn about who we are, our purpose in life, and are able to understand our worth and value. The source of love is not friends, family, and other people that we are connected to in life. Yes, people can express love to us and we need that, it is what feeds our soul. And it is God's desire for us to express love to others, but people are not the source. This is what has us tripped up so many times in our life when people let us down and we get all out of sorts and bent out of shape. Because we are not receiving from the true source which is God.
Real love actually starts with you. The discovery that is. It first starts by connecting with the one who created you so that you can learn about God's love for you. Once you learn about God's immense love for you, you begin to understand who you are, that you were created in God's image. I've been working on a series of blogs regarding "Growing Your Soul's Garden" . I talk about gardening (spiritual gardening so to speak) in relation to the soul and planting seeds or doing things that enrich the soil of your soul which is your heart (Proverbs 4:23) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life (KJV). The (NIV) (New Int'l Version) says: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Well in reference to gardening, inside of those tiny little seeds are blueprints that we cannot see. This blueprint determines what will grow. Inside an apple seed is a blueprint that determines that the fruit that will be produced will be red or green. This is how image works. We are made in God's image. An image is like a map or blueprint. We see images and use imagery all the time. Daydreaming is one means of using imagery. But how do we find out God's image or blueprint of us?
We were made in His image, but do you know what this image looks like? Have you taken the time to see the picture? In order to do that you must have a spiritual connection with God. As you accept Christ into your life as your personal Lord and Savior, you develop a spiritual relationship with Him. And as your relationship with Him grows, He begins to show you little by little what you look like to Him. He reveals to you the blueprint of YOU! The more you see the real picture of who you truly are in God's eyes, you begin to learn to love and accept yourself the way you are. You begin to love yourself because God imparts His love into you through your relationship with Him. As you begin to love yourself, you also begin to understand your worth and your value. You're not looking for something outside of yourself to validate who you are. God has already validated you. After an architect draws up a blueprint of a house or building, a seal gets placed on it. This indicates approval of the design. God has already approved of you. You are His design. HE LOVES YOU!......Just the way you are.
Postpartum Depression involves a sense of low self-esteem, struggles with negative reoccuring thoughts and negative thinking patterns, self-pity, and self-loathing. Of course these symptoms of depression stem from the fact that there is a chemical imbalance and the chemical that are imbalanced are the ones that are involved in our feelings and emotions and how we see things (our perspective). Perspective just gets misconsrued. The first place to start in correcting these problems is first going to the doctor to get checked out, having some blood work done to rule out underlying issues such as thyroid problems, anemia, and other health problems that may be contributing to depression. Then, the next step would be to change one's diet and start adopting healthier eating habits. Once you begin to do this, you bring your body back into hormonal balance and provide your body with the nourishment it needs to function properly for you. Eating a healthy diet provides your body with the vitamins and minerals that it needs to function. Your brain, where most chemicals related to emotional health and wellness are located, also receives fuel from the food you eat. We don't think a lot about the brain in terms of nutrition but it is an organ too made up of nerves and cells. All of the organs of our body require nutrients in which our cells feed off from to carry out the tasks of the body. Now, after you have started eating right and now find yourself feeling a whole lot better (which will automatically elevate your mood), you can now focus on correcting the mindset and getting your mind in alignment with right thoughts, positive thoughts that support your physically. And what I mean by that is, for every action (in terms of thoughts that you think) there is a reaction! If you think positive thoughts your body will release good chemicals. Laughing releases good chemicals. Good chemicals are endorphins,
I was speaking of self-care on my facebook page one day. Part of self-care is loving oneself. Aceepting oneself, being kind and gentle with yourself. The same way you would with other people. We are harder on ourselves than we are with others. We give so much compassion and love to others but have very little for ourselves. We find it hard to forgive ourselves for wrongs that we've done, and although we do struggle with forgiveness even with others when they have wronged us, yet we still in our minds try to find some way to justify people's behavior "Maybe they didn't mean it that way" or "maybe they were having a bad day". Why can't we give ourselves this same type of mercy. It's absolutely necessary that we learn to be more accepting of ourselves. This starts with a relationship with the Creator.
So take some time out to tend to your garden. Your "Soul's Garden". Connect with the Heavenly Father, and through Him you will find a love that will truly feed your soul and provide the inner peace and love that you are looking for.
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