Friday, April 13, 2012

Childcare may be a good source of help for Moms with Postpartum Depression

I received a question from a mom regarding whether or not she should put her child in daycare, "Maybe not all day", she stated, "But part time" because of postpartum depression that she is struggling with. She has a 4 yr old daughter who she is having trouble with and a 2 yr old daughter. She stated that the 4 yr acts up really bad whenever she has her bad days with ppd and it's very hard for her to deal with her child and the ppd. The 2 yr doesn't give her problems, she's a really calm child who is good about sitting and playing by herself or watching tv or looking at a book. The 5 yr old is the one that's very active. I completely understand her plight and was thinking back to when I was struggling with ppd. I know that a lot of mothers struggle with guilt when it comes to working and leaving their child behind with a babysitter or daycare instead of staying home with the baby so I know there has to be even more guilt for a mother who is not working and is considering putting her child in daycare just so she can have some time to herself, especially on those really bad days where she has to struggle with lack of energy/fatigue and dealing with ppd. I say that when it comes to your health and wellness, as a mom you need to do what is best for you and your family. And if that means asking for help from friends and family or even placing your child in a daycare center, I think it's best to get the help that you need so that you can get well. Don't think of it as neglecting your child, think of it as accepting support (whether this support comes from a friend/family member or daycare) because you have a medical condition that is limiting your ability to care for your child the way you need to and would like to. It's no different than if you had a physical condition or illness that would limit your ability to care for your child, you wouldn't feel as guilty about it in this case, so you shouldn't with ppd. Don't allow other people's opinion of you and your abilities as a mother make you feel incompetent or guilty. Remind them that ppd is a real illness and educate them about it. This is about you and your family. In order to care for your family you need to be at your best to be able to take care of them. Don't try to be supermom and take on more than you can handle. If you don't have friends and family to help out with babysitting and watching your child then daycare would be the next option.

After thinking back to the time when I went through ppd I realized that during that time while I worked a full-time job this actually helped me in a lot of ways. It gave me a reason and motivation to get up out of bed each morning (forced me to get up and get moving) and working is really kind of like a vacation if you want to call it that. A lot of women say this. I've even had one of my coworkers a few years back to tell me that she decided to work just to get a break from her kids. This is not something I would advise unless you have some type of disability or illness (like ppd) but I found out after having a conversation with her during lunch one day that she had experienced postpartum depression too. She had two boys. We spent time everyday during our lunch hour walking and talking and even prayed during this time. But work can be sort of getaway time, even though you're at work. My job was an office job where I sat down all day in front of a computer. I worked because we needed the dual income. Although I always desired to work from home and was allowed that opportunity when my daughter turned 4, there were many benefits to working in an office that provided a boost for me when she was a baby, the time that I was experiencing ppd. Getting to see my coworkers everyday and connect with other adults was one of them. And the extra money that I earned allowed me to be able to buy little extra things that my kids needed. It was a chance for me to get out of the house and not be isolated. It gave me a sense of accomplishment as well. A lot of mothers isolate themselves and this only contributes to depression. You need to either join a support group, become active at a local church, volunteer, or even working part-time or full-time helps a lot. It helps to keep you connected and keeps you going. So don't allow guilt to keep you from getting the help and support you need to recover from ppd. Do what's best for you and your family!






~Here's to Your Health!~
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