Childcare may be a good source of help for Moms with Postpartum Depression

I received a question from a mom regarding whether or not she should put her child in daycare, "Maybe not all day", she stated, "But part time" because of postpartum depression that she is struggling with. She has a 4 yr old daughter who she is having trouble with and a 2 yr old daughter. She stated that the 4 yr acts up really bad whenever she has her bad days with ppd and it's very hard for her to deal with her child and the ppd. The 2 yr doesn't give her problems, she's a really calm child who is good about sitting and playing by herself or watching tv or looking at a book. The 5 yr old is the one that's very active. I completely understand her plight and was thinking back to when I was struggling with ppd. I know that a lot of mothers struggle with guilt when it comes to working and leaving their child behind with a babysitter or daycare instead of staying home with the baby so I know there has to be even more guilt for a mother who is not working and is considering putting her child in daycare just so she can have some time to herself, especially on those really bad days where she has to struggle with lack of energy/fatigue and dealing with ppd. I say that when it comes to your health and wellness, as a mom you need to do what is best for you and your family. And if that means asking for help from friends and family or even placing your child in a daycare center, I think it's best to get the help that you need so that you can get well. Don't think of it as neglecting your child, think of it as accepting support (whether this support comes from a friend/family member or daycare) because you have a medical condition that is limiting your ability to care for your child the way you need to and would like to. It's no different than if you had a physical condition or illness that would limit your ability to care for your child, you wouldn't feel as guilty about it in this case, so you shouldn't with ppd. Don't allow other people's opinion of you and your abilities as a mother make you feel incompetent or guilty. Remind them that ppd is a real illness and educate them about it. This is about you and your family. In order to care for your family you need to be at your best to be able to take care of them. Don't try to be supermom and take on more than you can handle. If you don't have friends and family to help out with babysitting and watching your child then daycare would be the next option.

After thinking back to the time when I went through ppd I realized that during that time while I worked a full-time job this actually helped me in a lot of ways. It gave me a reason and motivation to get up out of bed each morning (forced me to get up and get moving) and working is really kind of like a vacation if you want to call it that. A lot of women say this. I've even had one of my coworkers a few years back to tell me that she decided to work just to get a break from her kids. This is not something I would advise unless you have some type of disability or illness (like ppd) but I found out after having a conversation with her during lunch one day that she had experienced postpartum depression too. She had two boys. We spent time everyday during our lunch hour walking and talking and even prayed during this time. But work can be sort of getaway time, even though you're at work. My job was an office job where I sat down all day in front of a computer. I worked because we needed the dual income. Although I always desired to work from home and was allowed that opportunity when my daughter turned 4, there were many benefits to working in an office that provided a boost for me when she was a baby, the time that I was experiencing ppd. Getting to see my coworkers everyday and connect with other adults was one of them. And the extra money that I earned allowed me to be able to buy little extra things that my kids needed. It was a chance for me to get out of the house and not be isolated. It gave me a sense of accomplishment as well. A lot of mothers isolate themselves and this only contributes to depression. You need to either join a support group, become active at a local church, volunteer, or even working part-time or full-time helps a lot. It helps to keep you connected and keeps you going. So don't allow guilt to keep you from getting the help and support you need to recover from ppd. Do what's best for you and your family!






~Here's to Your Health!~
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Emotional Health and Wellness: "What is that in Your Hand?"....."Refocusing the Lens of your Mind"

I have stated before that thoughts create emotion. Emotions are energy in motion. Without this energy, we wouldn't move, we wouldn't act or take action. We would be lifeless. Emotions are required to help propel us into action and they are either positive or negative. When that energy is negative (stemming from negative thoughts), we find ourselves not knowing what to do with it. Sure we know what to do with positive energy or emotions. When we feel love we express it, we want to share it. When we feel joy we express that as well. We don't bottle up joy and love. But when we feel a negative emotion like anger we tend to bottle it up inside, we don't know how to express it. Those who bottle up anger either fear expressing anger in a destructive way or have been conditioned to believe that anger is wrong. As you allow this emotion to stay bottled up, it becomes stagnant and turns into other things like animosity, resentment, and bitterness if we don't eventually release it. So the way to eliminate negative emotions is to eliminate negative thoughts because thoughts create emotions. What you think about produces your feelings about certain things or yourself. When you think negatively about yourself, you will feel negative about yourself which will keep you stuck in life.

Some days you can have all the confidence in the world but other days you struggle with flaws and insecurities. I love the way God uses people who are not exactly qualified. As someone who was raised in a religious environment of do's and don'ts, I use to have somewhat of a problem with seeing people who I thought didn't "fit the bill" enjoy being rich, enjoying prosperity, and doing things that I felt that only the "qualified" was supposed to be able to do. This belief originated not only from a spirit of religion, but also the surroundings that I was raised in. Where I come from you had to have sometimes not just one degree but a Master's or Phd or 2 degrees and some type of certification lol (exaggeration, somewhat..) to go along with it in order to even be considered for a job. This is a great thing to have but what about those who don't have that? You end up feeling unqualified, unworthy, and inferior to everyone else who does.

For many years I would hear messages preached about Moses and other prophets in the bible who God called and chose to lead the people or to be a messenger. And how these particular individuals had flaws, weaknesses, fears and insecurities which caused them to feel that they were not qualified for the job and just not good enough. God asked Moses "What is that in your hand?" (Exodus 4:2) My mother would tell for years after pursuing this degree and that degree that I already had enough skills, qualifications, and talents to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. But for some reason I always got tripped up in this area and it caused me for many years to be stuck. Insecurities will keep you from going after those things in your life that you ARE qualified for. Some things don't have to be certified on paper, God has already written it in your blueprint and given the seal of approval. You are already designed for greatness!

There were a couple of situations where I experienced getting passed over for a job promotion to someone who I knew wasn't as qualified as I was and I even witnessed my husband getting passed over for a job promotion as well. And it wasn't until I moved to a new city ten years ago, with a different culture and different way of doing things (different mindset) that I began to experience a little bit of freedom from that perfectionism syndrome. I noticed that there were a lot of jobs where you only needed a high school diploma.  I also experienced being under supervisors who did not have any type of degree. This is when I began to stop focusing on what I didn't have, and started focusing on what I did have. These two life experiences taught me how to use what I already have and work it to my advantage. It helped me to refocus the lens of my mind.

It's very difficult at times for us as human beings to look at what we already have; the gifts, talents, and skills that God has already given us. We have a tendency to naturally look at what is wrong, and have to force ourselves to look at what is right and good. We naturally look at the things that we don't have that we desire in life, and most of the time fail to consider the blessing that have already been bestowed upon us. Problems so easily get magnified in our mind. I guess it's because we are automatically prone to operate in survival mode, and when a problem arises, instinctively that's what we focus on the most. My grandmother use to sing a song in church all the time when I was growing up "Count your blessings, name them one by one". This song was a good way to get people who attended the church service to leave their problems behind them and focus on the good things in their life. To mentally usher them (as an usher would lead you to your seat) into the presence of God and forget about the cares of this life.

We use to have a saying back in the day "Work it!" That saying basically meant take what you've got and use it! The essence of finding true confidence in yourself is not necessarily eliminating all fear, getting rid of your flaws, or perfecting oneself, it's the ability to refocus. To minimize the negative and maximize the positive. That's the real secret to staying in a place of confidence that allows you to move forward. This is the essence of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Courage is the opposite of fear, just as negative is the opposite of positive.  The one that you decide to focus on is what determines your ability to move forward. When we focus so much on ourselves, our insecurities, our weaknesses, our flaws, it overshadows the good stuff. It literally places those positives into a place where you can't see them. Whatever you focus on overshadows or casts a shadow on those things surrounding it. When you focus on the positive, the negatives are out of your mind's sight. It's not that they don't exist, you can still have flaws, still have weaknesses, but it's when you don't focus on them that you move them out of the light and into the shadows. Light is an energy source, and either you are giving energy to the positives or you are giving energy to the negatives. It's kind of like this quote:

Subtracting negative not only applies to getting rid of baggage, it can also apply to faults about ourselves that we continually maximize, that keep us in a state of fear, in a state of procrastination, and in a state of immobility. Just keep us stuck! Stuck in neverland unable to move forward in life. How does subtracting a negative create a positive? In algebra, there's a scale that is displayed to demonstrate how negative and positive integers work.

Think of it like this. In looking at the number line imagine yourself zooming in on the negative number to the left of the zero, zero being the baseline or point of reference. The more you zoom in on the negative number, the more you place the positive number in a shadow, you can't see them, they don't stand out. Your lens only has the ability to focus in on one area at a time. If you were to focus or zoom in on the positive number you would minimize the negative numbers. Now try subtracting in your mind the negative numbers one at time on the left side of the number line. Mentally picture that as you subtract each number, the right side (positives) start to come in a little closer to view while the negative ones dissapear. It's almost as if they are moving out of the shadows into the light. This is how it works with our mental picture of ourselves. The mind is like a computer, it's always processing information, and that which we focus on becomes magnified. So why not practice magnifying the good stuff and minimizing the bad. That's not to say that you should sweep your flaws under the rug and not work on them. No, there's always room to grow. That's only to say that you should work on strengthening them, but not make them so big that they overshadow everything else. It's kind of like the way a a software program, for example an antivirus program, works in the background. You can still work on your computer while your antivirus quietly operates in the background to get rid of the negative stuff. The program is being minimized. 

Do you think about past failures too much? Do you have fearful thoughts about the future? Whenever you find yourself focusing on your failures and flaws recall God's question: "What is that in your hand?"

~Here's to Your Health!~

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Nature's "Chill Pills" - B-Vitamins!

We live in a really fast-paced world today. With all of the latest technology like cell phones and texting, computers, tv, video games, etc., it just sets a person up for information overload. You have to take time out of your day to relax and allow the mind to just shut down. Everybody experiences a little bit of worry and anxiety sometimes. Anxiety is no fun. Nobody likes to feel frazzled and feel like a nervous wreck all the time. But this is something that people with postpartum depression experience a lot of the time, if not all the time. And it's not like you can control it with will power. You don't want to snap at the people around you, but because you're not feeling well, your nerves are shot, and your hormones are all out of balance,....which leaves you feeling irritable, this is what you end up doing despite your best efforts to keep your emotions all under control. You don't want to snap at your kids, you love your kids. But with all of the stress and responsibilities of motherhood and for some mothers who have to work outside the home, the added stress of going to a full-time job everyday, dealing with traffic in the morning and after work, and just being SUPERmom, you find yourself caught up in moments where you feel completely overwhelmed and just need a break!

I would have moments when my kids were little that I really wanted to run away from home and I felt like a bad mother for feeling this way. I would ask my husband if I could leave for a couple of months just to get away but he would say if I did I couldn't come back. I know this was his way of expressing his fear of being left to deal with the responsibilities all by himself so he wanted to scare me into not leaving, which worked lol. There's a lot of guilt and condemnation that goes along with these feelings and I just wanted to be a normal, happy mother like other mothers that I would see enjoying their kids. "Why did my kids get on my nerves so much" I would think. "Why did just about everything get on my nerves so much?" I mean it wasn't all the time but it was majority of the time that I had to deal with these "off" emotions. The feelings of wanting to run away would come usually when I would be washing the dishes after an 8 hour day at work, spending 2 hrs on the road traveling to daycare to pick up the kids and then home to cook dinner. I didn't want to leave for good, just get away for a couple of months in a hotel, by myself with no dishes to wash, no one to clean up after, no one requesting all of my attention 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, with little break in between. How in the world did I get through it all? Only by the grace of God and of course with the help of my husband. He helped me out a lot which was truly a blessing. Fortunately I married someone who likes to cook so whenever I was too tired to cook, he would cook dinner. He pitched in to help with laundry and other things around the house as well.  Although there are a lot of women who do it, I really can't imagine what single mothers with 2, 3, even 4 kids have to go through. Parenting is hard enough with two parents sharing the load. The hard work of parenting definitely requires two people.

Anxiety interferes with daily life and your ability to function normal. By normal I mean, being able to be your real self, be in a good mood and maintain emotional balance, and truly enjoy life. What's normal is looking at a sink full of dirty dishes and thinking I gotta get this done and you just do it. What's not normal is looking at a sink full of dirty dishes and it overwhelming you to the point where you just want to curl back up in bed, put the covers over your head, and fade away. That's not normal at all. Housework can be a challenge, but it shouldn't be that much of a challenge where you just can't seem to get it done or can't function enough to even get out of bed to take a shower. When showering becomes a chore and a burden then there really is something wrong and you need some help. Postpartum depression is not a 'bout of laziness, it's an illness. There are things that are not functioning normal in the body whether it's hormones or nerves and the body is not functioning properly.

Anxiety can get so bad that you're irritable about every little thing. It's like having PMS everyday. You don't want people to see you in this light...moody, irritable, cranky. Nobody wants to be around that kind of person, and you don't want to BE that person that no one wants to be around. So you try to hide it from those on the outside, but you usually end up letting it lose on those closest to you. They suffer from your bouts of anxiety. My husband use to call me Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And that's exactly how I felt a lot of the time. Anxiety can ruin the best of relationships leaving the sufferer feeling isolated and lonely in the long run. And not only do you end up feeling lonely and isolated, guess what other feelings have come along to join you? Feelings of guilt! Guilt from snapping at those around you, and guilt for not being able to be the best mom that you really want to be to your kids, and lastly...guilt for feeling like you have this horrible personality disorder. So you think, why me? I wanted to be like my grandmother who had 11 kids and was ALWAYS in a good mood, even when she had extra kids (her grandkids). I use to think, "Wow! I would love to have a transplant lol, of whatever 'calm' genes that those mothers who deal with a lot of kids with so much patience have."

How in the world do their hormones remain so stabilized and balanced after all those darn kids!! (~eyebrows raised~Lol) .

During those days when I struggled with postpartum depression and would have moments of really bad anxiety, irritability, serious mood swings, etc. I would sit and look at my husband sitting in front of the tv so calm and peaceful. He was like this ALL the time. All I could do was wish that I could be that way. I prayed and prayed for God to provide me with a solution to this problem. "Must be nice" I would think to myself about my husband's calmness. "It's something about those genes" I would always tell him, "hey I need those calm genes".

When my daughter was about 6 and I really struggled with my weight and was really desperate to get the weight off and get back in my size 7/8 clothes that I wore before having my kids, I went out and bought  a weight loss product called Relacore. After watching the commercial, even my son who was 9 at the time said "Mama I think that's what you need, and I think that's why you have belly fat, because of stress" Lol. I totally agreed with him. This was before the days of learning about hormones and the workings of the human body. I thought, well it's over-the-counter and it's used for weight loss so it must not be too unsafe, plus it was advertised as an herbal product so it has to be safe. Also, little did I know about the FDA at that time and products that are allowed on the market that really are not that safe for the public. Well, I ended up not taking Relacore anymore because I just don't like pills or drugs of any kind unless I know for sure that it's all natural. And a lot of drug companies that make claims of "all-natural" really don't reveal everything that's in their product, just as those food companies who "claim" that their product is sugar-free, low-fat, or low-carb. Even though it seemed pretty safe and had herbs in it, I still in the back of my mind was unsure of the claims of all-natural so I stopped taking it. But the first couple of x's that I took it I was so calm and I thought "Wow, so this is what everybody else feels like ALL the time....Awesome!!

Well I know first-hand what those of you who are experiencing postpartum depression go through. That's why I am so passionate about helping other moms get through it, learn how to cope with, and eventually find healing and relief from it and overcome it!

So here's a rundown of the B-vitamins, their function, and what they do for your body:


All B vitamins help the body convert food (carbohydrates) into fuel (glucose), which is used to produce energy. These B vitamins, often referred to as B complex vitamins, also help the body metabolize fats and protein. B complex vitamins are needed for healthy skin, hair, eyes, and liver. They also help the nervous system function properly, and are needed for good brain function. All B vitamins are water-soluble, meaning that the body does not store them.

**Although you can use a good B-complex vitamin supplement to get your intake of B vitamins, it's good to try incorporate foods that are rich in vitamin B into your diet.


Vitamin B1 (Thiamine)
B1, also called thiamine or thiamin, is one of eight B vitamins. Like other B complex vitamins, thiamine is sometimes called an "anti-stress" vitamin because it may strengthen the immune system and improve the body's ability to withstand stressful conditions. It is named B1 because it was the first B vitamin discovered.

Symptoms of thiamine deficiency are fatigue, irritability, depression and abdominal discomfort.

Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin)

Dietary Sources:

The best sources of riboflavin include brewer's yeast, almonds, organ meats, whole grains, wheat germ, wild rice, mushrooms, soybeans, milk, yogurt, eggs, broccoli, ​Brussels sprouts, and spinach. Flours and cereals are often fortified with riboflavin. Riboflavin is destroyed by light, so food should be stored away from light to protect its riboflavin content. While riboflavin is not destroyed by heat, it can be lost in water when foods are boiled or soaked. During cooking, roasting, and steaming preserves more riboflavin than frying or scalding.

Vitamin B3 (Niacin)

Niacin also helps the body make various sex and stress-related hormones in the adrenal glands and other parts of the body. Niacin helps improve circulation. Symptoms of mild deficiency include indigestion, fatigue, canker sores, vomiting, and depression.

Dietary Sources:

The best food sources of vitamin B3 are found in beets, brewer's yeast, beef liver, beef kidney, fish, salmon, swordfish, tuna, sunflower seeds, and peanuts. Bread and cereals are usually fortified with niacin. In addition, foods that contain tryptophan, an amino acid the body coverts into niacin, include poultry, red meat, eggs, and dairy products.

Vitamin B5 (Pantothenic Acid)


Pantothenic acid is a component of coenzyme A (CoA), an essential coenzyme in a variety of reactions that sustain life. CoA is required for chemical reactions that generate energy from food (fat, carbohydrates, and proteins).

Dietary Sources:

Small quantities of pantothenic acid are found in most foods. The major food source of pantothenic acid is in meats. Whole grains are another good source of this vitamin because it is found in the outer layer of the grain. Milling, which is a process of stripping the grain and how we get white rice, destroys the nutrients in grains so it's best to eat whole grains such as brown rice or quinoa.

Legumes are another food source which contains pantothenic acid. Higher sources of pantothenic acid are cooked lentils.

Vegetables such as broccoli and avocados also have an abundance of this acid. The most significant sources of pantothenic acid in nature are coldwater fish ovaries (or caviar...not sure if I would ever try caviar personally) and royal jelly which you can find in health food stores. 

Vitamin B6 (Pyroxidine)

Vitamin B6 helps the body to make antibodies. Antibodies are needed to fight many diseases, maintain normal nerve function, make hemoglobin and keep blood sugar (glucose) in normal ranges. Hemoglobin carries oxygen in the red blood cells to the tissues. A vitamin B6 deficiency can cause a form of anemia. Vitamin B6 also help the body make several neurotransmitters (chemicals that carry signals from one nerve cell to another. It is needed for normal brain development and function, and helps the body make the hormones serotonin and norepinephrine, which influence mood, and melatonin, which helps regulate the body clock. Along with vitamins B12 and B9 (folic acid), B6 helps control levels of homocysteine in the blood. Homocysteine is an amino acid that may be associated with heart disease. Your body need B6 in order to absorb vitamin B12 and to make red blood cells and cells of the immune system.

Dietary Sources:

Vitamin B6 is found in:
Avocado
Banana
Legumes (dried beans)
Meat
Nuts
Poultry
Whole grains
Fortified breads and cereals may also contain vitamin B6. Fortified means that a ​vitamin or mineral has been added to the food.


Vitamin B7 (Biotin)


Biotin, also referred to as vitamin H, belong to a category of vitamins known as the B-complex group.

Dietary Sources:

Biotin is available in a wide variety of foods, including nuts, legumes, milk, meat, eggs, cauliflower, bananas, mushrooms, soybeans, whole grains and cereals.


Vitamin B9 (Folic Acid)

Vitamin B9, also called folate or folic acid, is one of eight B vitamins. Folic acid is the synthetic form of B9, found in supplements and fortified foods, while folate occurs naturally in foods. Folic acid is crucial for proper brain function and plays an important role in mental and emotional health. It aids in the production of DNA and RNA, the body's genetic material, and is especially important when cells and tissues are growing rapidly, such as in infancy, adolescence, and pregnancy. Folic acid also works closely with vitamin B12 to help make red blood cells and help iron work properly in the body.

The evidence about whether folic acid can help relieve depression is mixed. Some studies show that 15 - 38% of people with depression have low folate levels in their bodies, and those with very low levels tend to be the most depressed. And one study found that people who did not get better when taking antidepressants had low levels of folic acid. One double-blind, placebo-controlled study found that taking 500 mcg of folic acid daily helped the antidepressant Prozac work better in women, but maybe not men. But another study found that taking folic acid and vitamin B12 was no better than placebo in relieving depression in older people.

Dietary Sources:

Rich sources of folate include spinach, dark leafy greens, asparagus, turnip, beets, and mustard greens, Brussels sprouts, lima beans, soybeans, beef liver, brewer's yeast, root vegetables, whole grains, wheat germ, bulgur wheat, kidney beans, white beans, lima beans, mung beans, salmon, orange juice, avocado, and milk. In addition, all grain and cereal products in the U.S. are fortified with folic acid.

B12 (Cobalamin)


Vitamin B12 is a water-soluble vitamin with a key role in neurological function (the normal functioning of the brain and nervous system), DNA synthesis, and required for proper red blood cell formation.


Dietary Sources:

Some dietary sources are beef liver, clams, fish, meat, poultry, eggs, milk and other dairy products, some breakfast cereals, and nutritional yeast (brewers yeast).

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References:

            National Institutes of Health . (n.d.). B Vitamins . Retrieved from http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/bvitamins.html 

            National Institutes of Health . (n.d.). Office of Dietary Supplements . Retrieved from  

            http://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/vitaminb12/ 

Dealing with Worry and Anxiety

When I was a little girl I remember one of my aunts using the quote "Take a chill pill". Although she was just making light of a tense situation and using a slang term that we frequently quoted back in the day, little did I know that there really were "chill pills".  Back in the old days people would randomly say "I need my nerve pills", and I never knew what "nerve pills" were until I asked a preacher's wife one day at a church that I attended when my daughter was a baby. She told me that the older generation referred to B-vitamins as nerve pills. After that discovery, I was on my way to many other discoveries regarding health and nutrition and studying about the human body and hormones which I was very fascinated about.

There is a large percentage of the US population who are taking antidepressants and other prescription drugs to help reduce stress, anxiety, and depression today. Many people who take recreational drugs, overindulge in junk food, drink alcohol excessively, and smoke cigarettes are really looking for a way to relieve the pain (both physical and emotional pain) that they are experiencing. We've recently witnessed the death of of one my all-time favorite singers, Whitney Houston, due to these type of prescription medicines and other drugs. Stress, worry, and anxiety is something that everyone experiences from time to time but when it happens more often than not, it's time to get yourself checked out by your doctor, find out what's really going on, and start doing something about it.

As a holistic health counselor I look to natural ways of healing the body because there is so much that is provided to us in nature to be used for medicinal purposes. That's what God created plant foods and herbs for. Don't get me wrong, I never recommend to anyone not to use prescription medicine or stop taking something that has been prescribed by their doctor. First of all because your doctor is the go to person who decides whether you should be on prescription medicine or not, and second of all, there are some people who do require prescription medicine, it's completely something to be determined by your doctor. But, what I AM saying is that just because you may have to take a prescription drug doesn't mean you can neglect eating healthy foods. Drugs are not a cure-all and they are definitely not good for your liver because it is a foreign unnatural substance and can be very toxic to the body. Your liver has to process these toxins. The function of the liver is to help the body to eliminate waste, or toxic substances. But if there are too many toxins, the liver becomes overloaded and therefore cannot function properly. This is what happens with a person who smokes cigarettes.

Personally I do not like drugs. I have never been someone prone to take drugs or experiment with them, I don't even really like taking aspirin unless I just have to, because I don't want to become dependent on it.  I've always relied on herbs to bring my body back in to hormonal balance and to relieve specific symptoms. Some people rely on sleeping pills to help them fall asleep at night and sleeping pills can become addictive. But there's a more natural alternative. Melatonin is a natural hormone that the body produces to help us fall asleep and it's something that you can buy over-the-counter to get your body back into hormonal balance if you are having trouble sleeping. A lot of times caffeine is a reason why people have trouble sleeping. Too much caffeine can get the body out of whack and create hormonal imbalance. So you end up drinking 4-6 cups of coffee per day to keep you going and then popping sleeping pills at night to help you sleep and it becomes an ongoing cycle. The body never really gets a chance to heal itself and get back into balance naturally because you are too busy feeding it unnatural substances.

Instead of taking pills, I prefer to eat healthy and eliminate certain foods out of my diet that may cause allergies which create headaches and other ailments than to keep eating whatever I want and pop a pill to get rid of the pain. The body was created to heal itself if you provide it the nutrients and raw material (fruit and vegetables) that it needs to do so. Another reason I don't like drugs is because I never like to feel "out-of-control". Before I started studying about health and nutrition, years ago in my efforts to lose the weight that I put on from pregnancy I tried taking some diet pills because one of my coworkers who had lost a lot of weight after the birth of her baby stated that she was taking diet pills. The diet pills that I tried were the ones that Anna Nicole Smith was taking and had endorsed before she died (TrimSpa). The other diet pills that I tried years before TrimSpa was Relacore. I didn't experience side-effects with Relacore but stopped taking them because as I said before, I don't like being dependent on drugs although Relacore was an herbal diet supplement. But TrimSpa was very, very dangerous! Even the ephedra-free ones that I was taking. These pills had my hormones so out of whack it had me going through crying spells and hot flashes. There was one time I had taken a dose before working my shift at the job that I was working at and I felt dizzy and light-headed and ended up drinking tons of water to try to get it out of my system. All I could do was wait it out and after about 4-5 hours I finally came down from the effect of it. This is why I don't like drugs! I never took diet pills after that.

What I do advocate is learning about more holistic methods of healing the body, whether as something to do 100% of the time or something to help increase the effectiveness of the prescription medicine. One big reason why I try to educate on holistic health and wellness is because our society has been brain-washed into thinking that drugs are to answer to everything. Other cultures are very much into herbal treatments, acupunture, etc. Many of the healing techniques that are accepted and effective in other countries have not yet been adopted in the Western countries. Holistic healing is a form of alternative healthcare that integrates the whole person in the healing process: body, soul (mind, will, emotion), and spirit. When a person gets a headache the most common thing to do is to pop an aspirin into our mouth. Most people don't consider looking at what's going on to cause the headache in the first place. Stress factors at work, at home, lifestyle,....these all play a role in how we feel. What type of foods are you eating? How well dehydrated are you? I'm surprised to know that there are still people who don't drink water. Drinking 3-4 or more sodas a day, smoking cigarettes, and never drinking water is definitely not healthy for you. What a lot of people are doing is self-medicating by eating junk food, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol to relieve stress and pain, and just living a very unhealthy lifestyle and relying on pills to be the quick fix.

Lifestyle change is the key to healing the body. Change in lifestyle being daily exercise to stimulate those "feel-good" hormones (endorphins), changes in your diet to make sure that you are providing your body all of the nutrients it needs, and changes in your mindset to eliminate negative thinking patterns which is a good breeding ground for worry and anxiety. Stress has a direct affect on your emotions and your energy level.

So let me tell you about my "chill pill" that I recommend to anyone experiencing frequent stress and anxiety and even depression. These pills (vitamins) are a very important part of the human diet and should be a part of your regular regimen of nutrients you are taking in everyday for optimal health and wellness. These vitamins are 'drumroll'...........THE B-VITAMINS! : ) Are you getting enough B-vtimains in your diet. Well let me tell you what these vitamins will do you Nature's "Chill Pills"...The B-Vitamins!

The Greatest Love of All!

Since it's Valentine's Day I wanted to talk about love, specifically self-love. The impact that self-love (or should I say, the lack thereof) has on emotional health and wellness.

Most of us as human beings look for love in all the wrong places. That's just how we are wired.  It's human nature. I don't know, maybe God designed it that way so that we wouldn't become too overly self-absorbed, who knows? But, we're constantly looking outside of ourselves for love and happiness. And then when we can't find what we are looking for outside of ourselves, we get frustrated and angry. Then, and only then, do we look inside of ourselves to find the missing pieces and try to find answers. Looking inside is the key, this is the right place to start. But, as we look inside ourselves what we first begin to do is, we internalize our struggles regarding our inability to find the love that we want with people, and somehow translate it into something conclusive to who we are as a person. Why do we do that? Why do we go outside of ourselves to find love, validation, our worth, our value, and after our inability to find what we are looking for we internalize it and sum it all up as "I am not worthy", "I am unloveable"?

Who we are as a person, our worth, our value, has nothing to do with other people. Our worth and value does not come from others. No human being on the face of the earth has the power to determine our worth and value. Only God can do that. And he determined your worth and value when he formed you in your mother's womb (Jeremiah 1:5). But to go back even further than that, God determined your worth and your value even before you were formed in your mother's womb. God determined your worth and value when He sent His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross for your sins, so that you could be free from sin, free from bondage, free from sickness (physical sickness, emotional sickness, mental sickness), and live an abundant life through Him. A life free from guilt, free from worry, free from anxiety, free from anguish and turmoil, free of negative thinking. This was the ultimate act of true Love. The Sacrificial Love of a merciful and compassionate God to save a dying world (John 3:16).

Why do we look for love from others instead of from the One who is Love? It is through Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). It is through Him that we begin to learn about who we are, our purpose in life, and are able to understand our worth and value. The source of love is not friends, family, and other people that we are connected to in life. Yes, people can express love to us and we need that, it is what feeds our soul. And it is God's desire for us to express love to others, but people are not the source. This is what has us tripped up so many times in our life when people let us down and we get all out of sorts and bent out of shape. Because we are not receiving from the true source which is God.

Real love actually starts with you. The discovery that is. It first starts by connecting with the one who created you so that you can learn about God's love for you. Once you learn about God's immense love for you, you begin to understand who you are, that you were created in God's image. I've been working on a series of blogs regarding "Growing Your Soul's Garden" . I talk about gardening (spiritual gardening so to speak) in relation to the soul and planting seeds or doing things that enrich the soil of your soul which is your heart (Proverbs 4:23) Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life (KJV). The (NIV) (New Int'l Version) says: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Well in reference to gardening, inside of those tiny little seeds are blueprints that we cannot see. This blueprint determines what will grow. Inside an apple seed is a blueprint that determines that the fruit that will be produced will be red or green. This is how image works. We are made in God's image. An image is like a map or blueprint. We see images and use imagery all the time. Daydreaming is one means of using imagery. But how do we find out God's image or blueprint of us?

We were made in His image, but do you know what this image looks like? Have you taken the time to see the picture? In order to do that you must have a spiritual connection with God. As you accept Christ into your life as your personal Lord and Savior, you develop a spiritual relationship with Him. And as your relationship with Him grows, He begins to show you little by little what you look like to Him. He reveals to you the blueprint of YOU! The more you see the real picture of who you truly are in God's eyes, you begin to learn to love and accept yourself the way you are. You begin to love yourself because God imparts His love into you through your relationship with Him. As you begin to love yourself, you also begin to understand your worth and your value. You're not looking for something outside of yourself to validate who you are. God has already validated you. After an architect draws up a blueprint of a house or building, a seal gets placed on it. This indicates approval of the design. God has already approved of you. You are His design. HE LOVES YOU!......Just the way you are.

Postpartum Depression involves a sense of low self-esteem, struggles with negative reoccuring thoughts and negative thinking patterns, self-pity, and self-loathing. Of course these symptoms of depression stem from the fact that there is a chemical imbalance and the chemical that are imbalanced are the ones that are involved in our feelings and emotions and how we see things (our perspective). Perspective just gets misconsrued. The first place to start in correcting these problems is first going to the doctor to get checked out, having some blood work done to rule out underlying issues such as thyroid problems, anemia, and other health problems that may be contributing to depression. Then, the next step would be to change one's diet and start adopting healthier eating habits. Once you begin to do this, you bring your body back into hormonal balance and provide your body with the nourishment it needs to function properly for you. Eating a healthy diet provides your body with the vitamins and minerals that it needs to function. Your brain, where most chemicals related to emotional health and wellness are located, also receives fuel from the food you eat. We don't think a lot about the brain in terms of nutrition but it is an organ too made up of nerves and cells. All of the organs of our body require nutrients in which our cells feed off from to carry out the tasks of the body. Now, after you have started eating right and now find yourself feeling a whole lot better (which will automatically elevate your mood), you can now focus on correcting the mindset and getting your mind in alignment with right thoughts, positive thoughts that support your physically. And what I mean by that is, for every action (in terms of thoughts that you think) there is a reaction! If you think positive thoughts your body will release good chemicals. Laughing releases good chemicals. Good chemicals are endorphins,

I was speaking of self-care on my facebook page one day. Part of self-care is loving oneself. Aceepting oneself, being kind and gentle with yourself. The same way you would with other people. We are harder on ourselves than we are with others. We give so much compassion and love to others but have very little for ourselves. We find it hard to forgive ourselves for wrongs that we've done, and although we do struggle with forgiveness even with others when they have wronged us, yet we still in our minds try to find some way to justify people's behavior "Maybe they didn't mean it that way" or "maybe they were having a bad day". Why can't we give ourselves this same type of mercy. It's absolutely necessary that we learn to be more accepting of ourselves. This starts with a relationship with the Creator.

So take some time out to tend to your garden. Your "Soul's Garden". Connect with the Heavenly Father, and through Him you will find a love that will truly feed your soul and provide the inner peace and love that you are looking for.

Alignment

It’s imperative to every once in a while take inventory of your relationships and re-evaluate relationships that you have with people who are no longer serving you. Sometimes we spend a lot of time trying to make relationships work without realizing that we’ve either outgrown them or just that both parties in the relationship have changed and have grown apart. When you find yourself in a strained relationship and find yourself constantly working to keep it going and find it to be exhausting, it’s time to take a look at the relationship to see where it really stands.

It’s important to eliminate people from our lives who are not supporting us or no longer serving us. By eliminate I don’t necessarily mean cutting off the relationship completely, but not spending the majority of your time with these people, and when I speak of relationships not serving you I’m not talking about people doing things that we want them to do, I’m referring to those things that no longer have a purpose in your life or fit in with where you are trying to go in life. They don’t support your goals, your vision, or contribute to helping unlock your potential. If you choose to be in relationship with people who don’t align with your values and beliefs you open yourself up for a lot of frustration and heartache. People that we are closest to have great influence on us. We value their thoughts and opinions. We place value on the words they speak. If this person is someone who is not positive and supportive those words can take effect on us and slowly erode our self-confidence and self-esteem. Even for someone who is very confident and has a healthy self-esteem, you can find yourself second guessing your thoughts and actions based on the non-supportive or negative feedback from a friend. Therefore, it is very important to make sure that you are spending your time with people who value you, where there is mutual respect, people with whom you share common interests with, people who support you and people who foster your growth and add to your life, not take away.

People come in and out of our lives for a reason. Some are meant to stay, some are not. As we journey through life, we go through phases and stages. Some people are there for the long haul, some are meant to be temporary relationships. Why do we hold on so tightly to people who aren’t good for us? People who aren’t right for us? One of the biggest reasons is fear. Fear of being alone. But sometimes it’s because we don’t want to hurt the feelings of family members and old friends, sometimes because the bad connections are connected to some of our good connections and because of fear of losing those good connections, we continue in the relationship even when it is hurtful or unhealthy for us to do so. Learning to let go and release is essential to learning how to move into the realm of abundance that is always present and waiting for you. Realize and recognize that as you let go, what you are telling God and the universe (by universe I’m referring to the universal laws that are at work in our lives that GOD created) is that you are ready to receive this abundance. It’s kind of like being in a romantic relationship. A lot of times people stay in bad relationships hoping and wishing for someone else better to come along. But as long as you continue to spend your time and energy in a relationship that isn’t working for you, you are keeping the doors of opportunity closed for a new relationship to come into your life. The relationship is not that great but you continue to stay in it because its comfortable or because of fear, all the while you are miserable inside. You are bonded to this person and as long as the two of you are together there is really no space for anyone else.

Also, it’s imperative that you eliminate negative, toxic people from your life. The same way that we need to eliminate toxins from our body, toxic relationships need to be eliminated as well. What is a toxic relationship? Well first of all, according to Merriam-Webster, Inc. ( 2011), “[biologically a toxin is a poisonous substance that is a specific product of the metabolic activities of a living organism and is usually very unstable.]” ( para. ). Metabolic activities are basically anything having to do with metabolism which is the chemical processes that occur within a living organism in order to maintain life. [Metabolism is also defined as the sum of these processes] ( Merriam-Webster, Inc., 2011). During the process of metabolism sometimes byproducts are produced. When you eat healthy whole foods that provide the cells with vitamins and other nutrients that it needs to thrive, you allow the body to function the way it should. On the other hand, if you eat unhealthy foods that are laden with chemicals, preservatives, additives, and other things that are foreign to the body, the body cannot function properly and there are toxic byproducts and substances that are produced as a result. We are encouraged to eat foods rich in antioxidants. Why? Because during metabolic processes, oxidation takes place during normal cellular function. The body metabolizes oxygen very well but 1% – 2% of cells will get damaged in the process and become free radicals. This is what is called oxidation. Since these free radicals are damaged, this makes them harmful to other cells. Why are they harmful to other cells? Because they are missing a critical molecule, and since they are missing a critical molecule, they then go looking for other cells to pair up with. Nothing wrong with pairing up, it’s the way they pair up. When free radicals (or damaged, unstable cells) pair up they do it by attacking the nearest stable molecule to steal its electron. When the attacked molecule loses its electron it then becomes an unstable, damaged molecule itself or free radical. This then creates a chain reaction of free radicals which can cause other cells to die if there aren’t any antioxidants available. Free radicals are kind of like wounded people. Wounded people have in some way been damaged, and although not every wounded person lashes out at others, it’s typically hurting people who hurt people. Sometimes these kind of people have the attitude that “Since I”m not happy, no one else is going to be happy.” And so they try to steal the life and joy from those who are closest to them. In essence what this person is doing is trying to bring people down to their level of unhappiness, in other words, trying to “pair up” as free radicals do in order to stabilize themselves and feel more grounded.

People who are negative are very toxic to the relationship. So where does negativity come from? A lot of negativity comes from dissatisfaction in some area of a person’s life. Whether it stems from dissatisfaction with a job, problems within a relationship, or some other issue, just like a molecule becomes unstable and toxic, a negative person is unstable and can be very toxic to the relationship. Being highly unstable, free radicals have to bond with other molecules, thus damaging these other molecules as life is literally leached out of them. Sometimes you can have negative, toxic people in your life who literally suck the life out of you and drain you of energy. They don’t add to the relationship, they take away with their constant complaining, constant backstabbing and gossiping about you and others, never having anything positive to say, never having anything good to contribute to the relationship, and they bring you down and put you down whenever they find the opportunity to do so, always fueled by that green-eyed monster called envy and jealousy. They are like leeches. Parasites that prey on you and attach themselves to you just to sustain their own life. And instead of spending their time bettering themselves and working on improving their own lives, they choose to spend their time analyzing and tearing down other people’s lives. This type of relationship must be cut off. Unstable molecules (free radicals) not having an even number of electrons, continuously seek out extra electrons that they can “steal” to help stabilize themselves so they attach themselves to other molecules. In the human body, this process of free radicals robbing the life from your cells results in destructive damage to your cells. Negative people sometimes behave in this manner, although they really don’t realize that they do. Their unstable condition causes them to seek out people with whom they can attach themselves to for stability. You have something they don’t. Be careful who you attach yourself to and who you allow to attach to you. Everybody who is trying to bond to you is not doing so to share with you as this is the behavior of atoms (which form molecules.) Some people are looking to attach themselves to you for what they can get from you or “steal” from you.

Have you ever had an encounter with an angry person who’s negative disposition somehow rubbed off on you? Everything was going fine until you came in contact with this person who lashed out at you. These type of situations usually happen when either the negative person has had an argument with someone (maybe a spouse or maybe they got chewed out by the boss) and they don’t know how to release the negative energy. So you are the next person (yay for you!) who comes along and happens to stumble along their path and because they were not able to dump their negativity elsewhere, they dump it on you. This happens so quickly that sometimes you don’t even realize what has happened until it’s over. Now you are the one who is angry. And typically the person who dumped on you then walks away free and clear of all negative energy that was dumped on them. There’s been a transfer of energy, and you weren’t even prepared for it.

Another reason that you need to eliminate negative toxic people from your life is because whatever we place value on, we focus on. Sometimes people place value on a title, and because of the title, we give more value than should be given to the person even when that person doesn’t value you or add value to your life. Some of those titles can be mother, father, sister, brother, etc. If these relationships are dysfunctional but you feel you must maintain close ties because of the titles, you are putting your own emotional health and welfare in jeopardy. If you allow toxins to stay in your body they eventually erode away all the good stuff like weeds choke the life out of healthy plants, so why do we do so with personal relationships?

Whatever you value you focus on
Whatever you focus on you align yourself with
Whatever you align yourself with becomes your world
Whatever becomes your world becomes the center of your universe
Whatever becomes the center of your universe becomes your reality

This is where alignment comes into play. Alignment is key in relationships. It’s important to have healthy relationships that involve give and take by both parties. If one person is always giving and the other person rarely or hardly ever reciprocates then the relationship is lopsided and imbalanced.Think about a car that’s out of alignment. The car wobbles along the highway because the gears and joints are off-centered. If you take your hands off the steering wheel for one second the car will steer off the road. When a car is in alignment you can take your hands off the wheel for quite a good length of time before it starts to veer off because everything is balanced and working together to keep the car centered. Relationships are suppose to be bring balance in our life. There is a mutual sharing of positives in a healthy relationship. Whenever there is an imbalance, it causes us to lose focus. It becomes a serious distraction.

In life you have a variety of relationships with parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, coworkers, etc. In these relationships each one serves a purpose in your life. Our parents are there to guide us from the time we are babies until we grow to become adults. Our friends are in our lives to share with us and us with them. When one of these many relationships are not serving or supporting us causing problems in our life, and are negative and toxic, it throws your life out of balance. Why? Because everyone has a set of values and beliefs that steer us in life. These core beliefs are what drive us. If you are constantly around people who’s values and beliefs are not aligned with your own values and beliefs it will cause much friction in your life. Alignment is all about balance. Misalignment on a car comes from uneven tire wear but it’s not only because of the tires but suspension as well. Are your relationships uneven? Like uneven tires, uneven relationships (or relationships with people who do not line up with your core values and beliefs and even relationships where you are doing more of the giving and the other person is doing most of the taking) can cause friction which creates wear and tear on your relationship. Parts of your car’s suspension may become worn and springs can be stretched out. Think about some of your own personal relationships. Out of all of your personal relationships, how many of these are causing you to feel like springs that have been stretched out? There are some relationships that can wear us out and zap our energy because of the never-ending negative impact that these relationships have on us. Some people that we allow ourselves to be in close relationship with don’t even add to your life, they only take away. How do they take away? You are the person they turn to only when they need something, you are the one they call up when they need a listening ear. Your relationship with them is one-sided where you are constantly giving and they are constantly taking. It’s okay if this relationship is a mentoring relationship but when we consider this person to be a friend this becomes a problem. If this is a relationship that is suppose to be a mutual friendship you may want to consider re-evaluating the relationship. Is the relationship a two-way street or a one-way street? Are you giving more than you are receiving or is it mutual give and take? If you are doing more of the giving and hardly ever receiving there needs to be an adjustment made.

In reference to alignment, bumps and other things like dents in the road can cause a car to become misaligned. In relationships we can hit quite a few bumps in the road of life as well. Sometimes these bumps (or friction) never get fixed or adjusted. Sometimes people overlook things in the relationship that need to be addressed yet all the while holding feelings inside and just going along without properly addressing the issue. Even relationships need maintenance. Are there any things in your relationships that need adjustments? Think about some of your relationships that may be strained. The thing about relationships is that unlike cars that you can take to a mechanic to get fixed or fix yourself, you can’t fix people unfortunately. It takes two to work on a relationship and two to make the relationship work. When a relationship hits a specific bump in the road and throws your relationship off-balance (out of alignment), what steps do you take to realign your relationship? If someone says something to you out of anger, how do you address these issues? If you don’t go to the person honestly and openly about your feelings you are allowing friction to build up in the relationship. Friction can build up causing wear and tear and unless it is addressed it can cause the relationship to suffer.

One of the benefits of alignment is ensuring that your car drives straighter and smoother [in your personal relationships this is compared to focus]. You get better gas mileage [are able to go further in life] because your tires will be properly aligned with the road thereby decreasing resistance. Is there resistance in your relationship that could use some fine-tuning? Maybe it’s time for an alignment. There are some relationships that are not going to get fixed no matter how much you try and repair and re-align. Maybe the other person is unwilling to change or adjust. Sometimes people grow apart and move in different directions. Sometimes one person in the relationship has grown and the other person hasn’t so this can also create friction. Re-evaluate those relationships that are no longer serving you and get your life back into Alignment!

References :

Davis, J. L. (2005-2011). How Antioxidants Work . WebMD. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/how-antioxidants-work1

Merriam-Webster, Inc..(2011).Metabolism .Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/metabolism

The Journey

There’s nothing you can do about where you’ve been in life, roads you’ve traveled, paths taken that you shouldn’t have. The only thing you can do is follow a good path from here on out.

Life is about learning and growing. Let God be your guide. Enjoy your journey. Pack lightly, too much baggage will prevent you from pressing forward. Take your Bible for it is your spiritual roadmap for life.

Regarding those who are moving slower than you, be patient, go around them, pass with caution. Don’t be rude, don’t honk your horn. Wave and flash a friendly smile along the way!

When it gets dark in your life, when the nighttime comes, you will have your light which is the word of God. The word is a lamp unto your feet and a light for your path. (Psalm 119:105) For those darkest hours, when it’s midnight, switch to high beam to access your internal power source which is the Holy Spirit. It will comfort you and give you direction and lead and guide you. And when it gets stormy & rain is in the forecast, make sure before your trip your windshields are ready to operate. Your shield is your faith. The bible speaks about putting on the whole armour of God. (Eph 6:11) It will protect you during the storm and rain.

This life is not easy with it’s twists and bends, peaks & valleys. Sometimes we may wander off onto the wrong path. Sometimes we may give up and just pull over to the side of the road for a moment, sometimes we find ourselves crashing from going too fast and not paying attention and heednig the signs, and other times we try to take detours and shortcuts only to find out that we’ve wandered further from our destination only making our journey even longer than when we started and we now have to find our way back to where we started.

But stay in the race. It’s not given to the swift nor the strong but to He that endureth until the end. Keep progressing forward moving steadily to your destination.

Your new journey awaits you!